


The week of 2016

by SandyD



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, axgweek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 12:39:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7574371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandyD/pseuds/SandyD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My drabbles as a result of the AxG week prompts. I don't know if I am able to fulfill all of them in time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The week of 2016

**Author's Note:**

> I never fill all the prompts, even when I try and I still have in mind to fulfill all the prompts of the past year. I just saw that AxG week was already started and I wanted to write something.
> 
> So this was a short musing that I just came up with based on some personal experiences.

She knew it was stupid, very stupid. But she could not do anything about it, her stupid insecurities sometimes just got in her way and the cold hurt feeling in her heart grew. If she would tell him about it, he probably would not understand. She had tried to open up the subject, but he always said that it was in the past, that she was the best girlfriend he could wish for and that he never wanted to loose her.

She just wondered if he maybe said the same to other girlfriends before her. He said she was the most amazing girl he ever had as a girlfriend and that everyone in the past could not even compare to her. She also did not have the feeling of a stone in her stomach all the time, just sometimes when it was triggered.

When she was younger Arya sometimes had been jealous, of her sister mostly because she seemed to be better at everything and liked to brag about it. But also of other pretty girls for their looks and getting the attention of boys. At horse riding competitions she sometimes was jealous of the riders who had a better sit and scored higher points.

She had had a relationship before, but it never had been this serious. She also had her history with boys, but when she and Gendry started the relationship she was a virgin. She had experimented a bit but she did not want to have sex with someone for whom it was not special. And thus she had waited and then Gendry came along.

She had met him before, but then she was younger and thought he was extremely annoying and she liked kissing boys at parties but was not really interested in having a relationship. And he probably was in a relationship.

Gendry had had serious long term relationships. She understood, but at the same time, the feeling that her man had loved someone else for a period of his life when she was not in it. And it was not fair to think in that way, but it made her feel so insecure. She wondered if it was different if she had had a serious relationship before him or if she at least had sex with someone else. But now it was to late to do that.  

Arya was terribly jealous, and on the people that should be the least threatening and that he had broken up with for a reason. She was jealous of the ex-girlfriends of her boyfriend.

This time she was triggered by an photo on his Facebook. Maybe she was stalking his social media, but he was her boyfriend and she was interested! But not so much in the old comments that his ex girlfriend made on old pictures of him, and not in the photo album of their holiday in the UK. Arya did not know if this made her want to go with him to the UK to also claim that or if she never wanted to visit the UK, even when she had never been there and before this wanted to see it. The worst was that it was a shared album. And then she saw a photo of them together, smiling to the photographer. Gendry hated photos so she did not even have a nice photo with him. But this girl had and well it was not an intimate photo, they were just sitting somewhere and a few inches apart. But at that time they were a couple and it turned Arya in a sour mood.

Another time she got that feeling when they went camping and there was still an unused but open condom on the floor of the tent. She said it to Gendry, tried to make a joke. She felt all her self-confidence fade away and she hugged herself. She turned away when he threw it away and bit her lip.

She sometimes wondered if that sinking feeling will ever go away, or maybe she must hit the mark when it ended between them. They had been two years together, so when she and Gendry were together for that long then it would disappear. She really hoped it would.

Sometimes she felt bad and instead of doing things to cheer herself up, she would go to his Facebook. Arya tortured herself, by going to the older pictures that were taken four years ago, the ones in which she commented.

Arya felt even worse when she would tell herself how much better she looked than that girl, it was not fair to Gendry’s ex even when Arya was jealous of her. Jealous of her past with Gendry. Jealous that at one point in time she was Gendry’s girl.

She did not know if there was a trigger or just her insecurities that filled her head with thoughts, but she felt terrible. She was hugging herself and she was distant and it was not fair to Gendry, to his ex and to herself. But her insecurities did not care. She was preparing for bed and was not smiling, joking and teasing Gendry like she normally did.

“Okay what is wrong?” Gendry turned to her and when his blue eyes met her, she turned away quickly. She could not bare to look at him. And then she felt his arms around her and he laid his head on her shoulder. “I know there is something, you can tell me.”

“I just… I just have a bit of trouble with my insecurities. And it gives me doubts.”

She felt how he tensed and he hold her tighter and closer to him, if that was even possible. She had told him before and one time she had so much doubts that she really did not know if their relationship would survive.

Gendry walked her to the bedroom, with her in front of him. And they both laid in bed and looked t each other, while he pulled her close against him. “Tell me.”

She looked away for a moment, “It is stupid.”

“If it troubles you it is not stupid. You are not going to leave me, are you?” She could almost hear fear in his voice and then she hold him tighter.

“Off course not stupid, I do not want to leave you. What made you think that?”

“Well you had your doubts about us before and I really do not want to loose you.”

“You do not have to be afraid of that, it is just my stupid insecurities…” And then she explained. And Some moment he laughed, and joked and mostly hold her tighter.

“Oh milady you are so sweet,” that made her elbow him in the gut and he groaned, but then continued, “there is a reason why that ended and I really do not think of the past. You are so amazing and I never have been as much in love as that I am with you. So try to not worry, because you scare me. It really makes me afraid that you will rethink our relationship and will leave me. I really really love you a lot Arya Stark.”

“I love you too.” She murmured and then she felt tired from all her emotions and stupid jealousy and fell asleep in his arms and never felt safer than in that moment.


End file.
